Bullying and bullying is a situation abuse or abuse – physical or psychological – maintained at the time, suffered by a minor, and carried out by one or several of their companions, all within the academic field. It is a practice that is generating a growing concern in our society, due to the increase of the cases detected, and that its effects remain in the time, having been verified cases of suicides by its cause.
Abuse physical, such as shakes, shakes or tripping, but also psychological and you coercion, harassment, insults or threats, are weapons commonly used stalkers to undermine the will and self-esteem of the harassed, as well as to facilitate feelings of exclusion, marginalization and social isolation; While the aggressor feels reinforced in his authority at the expense of his victim.
Bullying usually include only peer aggression – and not those that are produced by a teacher or parent to a small-including in such behaviors of children older in age or course to students of lower courses; also, include the aggressive behaviors that are held outside the school close by, but that occur between coworkers.
Bullying, a global problem
Bullying and bullying is a global problem that affects all countries, and is frequently mainly between 12 and 16 years; in some countries, it has been estimated that the percentage of children affected, either by physical or verbal aggression, is of one of every three pupils, such as Mexico or Brazil, while in other countries this percentage rises to one in two, according to UNESCO.
This situation is worsening and spreading in recent years also due to greater access to technology by minors, either in the use of Internet, or devices such as smart phones, which is promoting a new form of bullying, called cyberbullying or cyberbullying, where there is a greater sense of impunity by the aggressor.
Normally bullying and bullying emerges spontaneously, and it usually starts as a grace that, strange that may seem, is not at all censored, and the minor offender not only is not reprimanded by an adult (if present) or by their peers, but that they laugh you grace and congratulate him for its occurrence, so it is reinforced and justified socially , and will tend to repeat their behavior to receive praise from others.
A situation that recur and become to see reinforced, will start a vicious cycle of aggression as a form of acceptance and get social reinforcement by the aggressor, to the detriment of the attacked, which compromised its social value in addition to their self-esteem, becoming in many cases in the expiratory goat, which loaded the blame when it occurs that a teacher scolds the offender or his companions.
Anything can serve as an excuse so to start a harassment situation, whether the victim is the new that has just arrived, having another skin color, an accent rare or, simply, for his way of thinking or dress; anything goes to start the harassment which, moreover, will have better acceptance by peers when these differences are most evident externally.
The situation of harassment may also arise as a form of relief from stressful situations in the family of the stalker, and this not so dependent on the economic status of parents, but the way in which these relate, resulting most likely to arise in times of change, before a divorce or separation, especially when not done amicably.
Also, live in a situation of abuse will make the child to see such conduct as normal and then express it in College against a victim who chooses, in the same way that has lived at home. Some studies have tried to relate these behaviors of aggression with constant consumption of violence on television, although the data are not conclusive, since depends much more on the values of the family.
The first symptom that causes bullying and bullying in the affected is precisely that they don’t want to go to school, to avoid being subject to abuse and mistreatment by his companions. So there is a loss of interest in conducting activities related to the educational center, and school performance and, consequently, the qualifications, they are affected in a significant way, to the extent that the victim may have to repeat a year for this reason.
Later, and due to prolonged harassment, will produce another series of consequences such as:
- Symptoms associated with the continued stress, such as anxiety, trouble sleeping, irritability, and anger attacks while mediate cause that justifies it.
- Symptoms associated with low self-esteem and depression, such as loss of appetite, lack of interest in activities that previously were attractive (anhedonia), behaviors of avoidance of social situations – which can lead you to House-, and continued crying.
- Somatizados symptoms, like pain in your belly, chest or head, nausea and vomiting.
It has also been observed that these little ones when they grow can become in turn abusers of other younger, or even your spouse. These sequels will do upon reaching adult having:
- Higher risk of consuming illegal substances.
- Higher propensity to engage in fights or carry out criminal acts.
- Tendency to not take responsibility for the consequences of their actions.
- Lack of empathy, so it does not take into account other people’s feelings.
- Problems in relationships with others, especially in privacy.
All this is due to the effect that produces a situation of threat and coercion in time, in a time as delicate as it is that of the formation of the personality and the first experiences with the opposite sex in the beleaguered.
Currently measures from educational institutions, are being implemented both to prevent bullying and bullying, and to educate involved possible, facilitate complaints, and avoid to follow to keep the conduct of harassment. To do so, the first thing that must be done is to communicate the fact to the school so you have proof of the situation and look for a solution to cut the vicious cycle of harassment.
This communication can be both part of the affected students or their parents, and even by the teachers themselves. For this reason, some centres offer training on what they are manifestations or most common symptoms that can alert that teachers in his class is producing some cases of harassment; Although to avoid be discovered, it is common for stalkers to harass their victims outside educational institutions so that there are no witnesses, making it difficult to detect the problem.
In addition to therapeutic intervention, both on the beleaguered child the stalker, the most effective measure to break this vicious cycle of harassment, is the separation of harassed and harassing with a change of class or school. However, it is essential to perform a therapeutic about the bully intervention, since failure to do anything about it, he will seek another expiratory goat that start a new string of abuses.
Tips for the parents of the victim of bullying at school
In the event that parents appreciate changes in your child, or notice you sad or worried, but still are unaware of the existence of the harassment situation, we recommend the following:
- They should listen to his son without judging; If the child comes home saying that he has fought or that have stuck him, they do not have to reproach for this reason since, if they do, next time do not tell anything.
- It is convenient that they occasionally ask him about their relationships in the school, and not only on the evolution of their qualifications, so that can detect if you have any difficulty in their relationships with their peers.
- It is advisable to periodically talk to the teacher or small, to be interested on how his studies, but also learn about what such going with the rest of his companions.
- Once it detects that something goes well, you should try to talk with the child, the tutor or teacher, in such a way that the situation be clarified.
When you know that there is harassment, the means of the parents are:
- Not to minimize or belittle the mishaps suffered by your child in school, thinking that it is a chiquillada, or that over time will resolve spontaneously.
- Try to protect the minor of situations where there is harassment, for example from back home, picking him out of the school.
- Make the child feel comfortable, so that you can comment whenever you want or need it, so what happens, as what makes you feel, since it is in this second appearance where it can intervene.
- To ensure that small does not lose the course, helping you if necessary with tutorials, see how others progress and it would not, go against their self-esteem.
- Take to a counselor or psychologist to receive helps therapeutic, not with the idea that the minor has a psychological disorder, but precisely in order to avoid that you can develop it in the future because of the situation that is forced to suffer.
Tips for teachers to bullying
The intervention of the teachers is very important when it comes to detect and correct a bullying situation, why should:
- Be aware of changes in the performance of their students, both in terms of attention in class as to their results, since they are one of the clearest indexes that something isn’t working as it should.
- See if any child is isolated within the class; i.e., not interact with others, because it will be a sign that something happens in the realm of social relations.
- Not allow within its class, or in his presence, that laugh any of his students, as this may help to reinforce the feeling of group against one of them.
- Avoid tensions or not healthy peer competition, since they can facilitate the appearance of harassment situations outside the classroom.
- Try to praise students alike, already that the reinforcement on one or a few can make flourish the jealousy of the other, and may become so the first object of envy for the rest of the group.
- Stop any kind of aggression, verbal indication and, if repeated, referring the case to the address or the counselor to intervene, form that not interferes with the normal development of classes.
Tips for friends of a victim of bullying at school
Friends of the harassed can also help:
- They should be careful, if witness some type of aggression, contact an adult immediately, so that it can intervene in this regard.
- No good is not helping the beleaguered friend to hide it, because with this attitude increases the sense of impunity of the harasser.
- It is not necessary to confront the stalker, because this behaviour, far from solving the problem, can cause it to goal with his victim harder still.
- Try not to leave only the friend beset in those circumstances in which occurs the aggression, since it is more difficult that the stalker is working against two or three people at the same time.
- Try that beleaguered friend do not enclose it in itself, and try to have moments of recreation that is comfortable and free from the tensions caused by the harassment.
One of the biggest difficulties is the health or professional therapist dealing to make a speech about the harassing school is to discover what is what gave rise to such conduct; Moreover, lack of awareness of doing something improper will be the biggest obstacle for therapeutic help, as to when he is assigned to take it and be effective.
In some cases the origin of the behavior of bullying or bullying comes precisely from having suffered ill-treatment or harassment itself by other partners and, occasionally, have suffered in their own House, and that violence which now exerted against others is the way in which expressed how you are feeling on the matter. But another reason may also be the frustration that causes poor academic performance, which pushes you to implement targeted a teammate more successfully in studies – who considered a nerd-thus making subject to his harassment.
The personality of the minor stalker will reinforce in their desire to be above others, while you feel a pressing need to achieve social acceptance, so such conduct is going to be forming as a person and will remain during adulthood, where this type of individuals are usually characterized by having a low capacity for empathy , problems in relationships with others – especially in the intimacy-, a low level of frustration, without hardly control their emotions, and a pronounced tendency to not take responsibility for their actions.
It is very important to correct this behavior, since the child is small when parents or teachers are aware of any aggressive behavior on his part. In these cases you must always intervene, not so much to scold him and reprimand him for his attitude, to educate and teach how you to express yourself without aggression and treat others with the same respect with which wants to treat him, and making him understand that there are other ways of doing things, without disturbing the rest.
Harassment is a way of expression of aggression; i.e., the harasser is a scapegoat on which let off some steam. Therefore, when you want to intervene in the minor has to analyze from where comes this aggressiveness and, above all, give you tools so that it can express itself in a constructive and positive, without need to do evil to anyone.