The former captain of Manchester United, Rio Ferdinand, had it all. Fame, money and a beautiful family. But a bad day, life gave him a great setback. Rebecca Ellison, his 34-year-old woman, died because of breast cancer ten weeks after they diagnosed it. His life came crashing down. Suddenly, he found widower, unable to do anything and with three small children to care for.
It happened two years ago and is just now able to look back and take stock of what it meant to that dramatic stage of his life in a BBC documentary entitled “Rio Ferdinand: being MOM and Dad”.
Not to do anything to be MOM and dad
You tributes from around the world after death of Rebecca Ellison, wife of #mufc legend @rioferdy5 http://t.co/m3zlOY7JfT pic.twitter.com/JaT8z2wrdB
— Manchester News MEN (@MENnewsdesk) 2 de mayo de 2015
Not only had to deal with the drama staff have lost their spouse, they should live up to to accompany their children, Lorenz, of 11 years; Tate, 8 years and Aunt, 6, who had lost his mother.
The footballer was surpassed by the situation and retired from soccer a month after losing his wife, when he played at Queen Park Rangers.
Ferdinand recognises in the documentary that I didn’t want to do absolutely nothing. His wife was in charge of everything, while he only played soccer. He didn’t call a doctor nor much less deal with the daily management of a House with three small children.
“In football do not raise is a finger until you go to the field to play. Everything they gave me made. Your equipment is already in your locker. And when you change, the strips to the floor and let it. Then someone comes, picks her up and takes her. The same happens with the boots, full of mud. When you arrive at an airport, you even look a cartel, you just follow the feet of others”account.
Dying, it realized it had not assessed all what his wife was doing day to day. Little things that make a family work, a silent and sacrificed work that many men do not value.
A new life
After the death of his wife, it was surpassed by the situation. He retired from football a month after losing his wife, when he played at Queen Park Rangers. He found solace in drink and even seriously considered suicide.
“At the beginning I was drinking much at night after lying to children. Until one day I woke up and wasn’t able to take them to school. I even had a car accident. And I realized I could not follow as well. I suffered panic attacks. I needed help,”she confesses.
It took nearly a year to seek help. He began therapy for help and be able to accompany their children to overcome the tragedy that lived. I thought that it would be unable to do so, but with help and much love, started all together to build a new life without his mother.
His main concern was that their children speak of their mother and express how they felt, but at the beginning it was not easy. “I didn’t know any technique to discuss this with the children. I did not know which button touch”, she confessed.
The drawings were the best way to release those feelings. “As everything suddenly opened and was a cute moment when I saw them talking happily about her mom. It was like going from darkness to light”.
It is hard to imagine how hard that can be faced with the death of your partner or life partner. More even though it had all given and you thought you would never touch. Now its highest priority is the happiness of their children. Just the documentary with a hopeful message.
“I think there is still much to work. At the beginning I was wondering ‘how will I be happy?’. But I see children and their smiles and I think that is a good reason to get ahead.”