We are in the summer, although it is not much, and these days of vacation, kids and adults agree with other children and other adults. Know it many of them, but our children do not, so that long not travelling to the people and the last time your child was not born. You can then pass to see the aunt, you give the grandmother, cousin, or friend, two kisses, as it is done here to greet someone that long ago that you don’t see or that you just know and fall into the temptation to urge your son or daughter to also give a kiss to someone unfamiliar with.
But what about kissing? He said HKSAR that kissing is the action of “Touch or press with a movement of lips, impulse of love or desire, or as a sign of friendship or reverence”, which is a definition which should be very close to what children are kisses feel: a sign of affection. Why children have to be able to choose who kiss and who does not.
Sign of affection or friendship
I, as any father and mother, I give many kisses to my children, but I give them is I. Not I ask you never to give me a kiss and perhaps why they give me few, but I know that the day that I embrace and give me a kiss, give it me because they feel, because they want to, because they feel affection or are grateful for something.
However, these kisses of love and friendship add it to the of the “being well”, those we take for commitment in an act that personally I just do not understand, because actually you even give two kisses, you bump the cheeks while doing the noise kiss with your mouth. And if someone does well and plant you two kisses, one on each cheek, then you feel that it has exceeded (if just it know) or until a little revulsion, depending on who you are. If it is your cherished grandmother, say, that give you that want and like.
But turning to the children, I think that when a father or a mother says her daughter “come, Laura, dale un beso aunt Loli” he is making a mistake. First because Laura has to be free to anyone who wants to kiss and secondly because you are asking your daughter that demonstrates an affection that actually do not feel, just to look good.
The kisses are not ordered, give away
I talked about this five years ago. The kisses are not ordered, give away. They must feel, must be loaded with emotion, and why we give adults only to who we want and when we want to.
Now tell me that of that “already, but when you know someone give you two kisses”, and I say “exact, two kisses”. Two kisses which do not carry emotional charge, two kisses we give to women, but not men, that is the hand. And I don’t hand a guy as saying that I feel affection for him, but as a gesture of socially-enabled contact that somehow transforms us from unknown to known.
But do not you ask a child two kisses. Nobody says to a three-year-old child to give two kisses to the Uncle John, or two kisses to the Paqui, the butcher of the people’s life. Ask your child to give you a kiss. A single kiss, that we just take for affection or love. Or perhaps when you just know someone give a kiss? Because two do not mean much, but one, a kiss is a “MUA! It takes Kiss I wanted to give you”.
So in fact we are asking children a gesture of affection that do not feel. To them is them probably no problem, but does not have too much sense to match our kisses, or his kisses to us, full of feeling and meaning, with empty kisses we give to the other person think or feel that you have an affection that does not exist.
Would you like my kids to give you kisses? You will have to earn them and they give them, only if they want to.