Mothers who have their cases and receive hundreds of reviews of his performance, parents prosecuted for their decisions, publications with articles of the type “10 things you have to do to be the best parent the best”…
One is lifted one day and a quick look at his facebook account, twitter or your favorite news aggregator, realizes the number of publications that are environment to the way of mothers and to a lesser extent, but simply because they have reached the last fewer parents and. We have gone from “I am your father and that gives me the reason” to be monitored with Magnifier each movement than we do. endangered our authority or it is an excess of sensationalism, a wanting to sell increasingly ours?
Facebook, instagram and the dictatorship of the beautiful
OK, I admit, see images and photos of babies, children, children with dogs, smiling parents, smiling parents with children with smiling dogs (children, not dogs… well, dogs also) I like… I like the four or five first day, but go through the finger and see a publication after another that seems taken from the Querubin Herald, because I’m going to be honest It tires me. More than tired, is that simply does not seem real. Do not misunderstand me, it is not to not thank that kind of stimuli, nothing is further from reality, but it is that I see a serious problem to that kind of TimeLine, a very simple: the reality is not so.
Or at least it is not 24 hours a day and the problem is that we are so accustomed to continually see these scenes that we’ve idealized motherhood, fatherhood and family life. And it seems that if we do not live in an advertisement there is something in our lives that we need to change. It is clear that no one likes to teach those “dark” parts of himself or his sons, but it seems as if these days it was almost an obligation to hide it.
On the other hand, we have the opposite: the almost morbid need to show up to the slightest aspect of our lives, especially of the supposedly good, or good side of our lives. As if to say to others that everything is going well, we know to do this or the other, that our children have achieved this or that milestone we were living. As if that “Hi, I’m here… I exist”were just that, shout to the whole world that we are part of something, something that is increasingly more behind a screen and less in front of the breath of someone. Our wake-up call so someone can make us case.
It seems that if we are not living in a continuous advertisement we have to change something in our lives
As part of this interaction after the semi-anonymity, screen, come the judgment on the actions of others. If we give teta or bottle, if we colechamos or leave you crying, if we take them to music, or let them play. Nothing escapes the eye of networks and often all that criticism towards others says more about ourselves than others. It speaks more of our way of educating our children that if really matters or not whatever the neighbor with his own.
The loss of the tribe
Not many years ago, when communities were more real and less virtual, had “something” that we could call “tribe”, which was not anything other than that set of mothers, because here 99% were mothers who meet to share: experiences, symptoms, laughter, tears and of course, children.
Within this tribe, the children were educated, each in their uniqueness, but with a more or less consensual guidelines. There was always some child who was more nice, a mother who did turn a blind eye, but in general, the guidelines were there. Did not enter that those guidelines were good or bad, for that are studies and the simple passage of time for things to change and improve. As my grandmother used to say: before there was what had, knew what you knew and we are here as the best that we can be.
The social pressure
I do not know any parent who always be sure everything he does with respect to their children, I don’t know any that has not had doubts at some point, that has not wondered if what you are doing is the best or even if it is the right thing. Educating a child is to sail on a sea of doubts, in which every day must confront a different situation. It is true that the bases that we assert in the home we will have certain guidelines set for the future, but in my view, there is no guarantee the results 100%. How boring it would be otherwise, no?
To some extent, I see dangerous all the pressure that is exerted on parents. It is true that on many occasions is not ill-intentioned and that many times it is more a problem of managing the vast amount of information that we now have and the difficulty to differentiate the wheat from the chaff, in an attempt to control the way that we exercise the maternity or paternity.
Thus for example, that your son does not sleep, don’t eat, does not walk have hundreds of manuals (6000 years since writing was invented, and no one had given her for writing a book about it in all this time), each one with its method and each method with the only thing in common are parents wanting to know and a son.
But that pressure, coupled with the uncertainty of a future project as it is to educate a child, can make more than educating your child as you want, do it as others want.
Without going any further, a few days ago we knew the case of parents who left her baby sleeping in the hotel room and fell to dinner. The first question that we should do is if we would do the same as them. In my case would not know how to answer. It would depend on several factors which I am unaware, the room of the restaurant nearby? I have chance of leave my child with someone while I frown? and some more. But it is my case, my circumstances and my family, it is true that analyzed from the outside I see it quite different from the case of parents who left the baby only while they were partying.
They are two similar cases on the basis, in both there is a baby who is left alone, but for me, they are very different. There are certain “safety zone” in the first, it is true that in theory there is more distance between a hotel room and the restaurant between the baby’s bed and the living room, but I put in place and would be awaiting the slightest hint of that my son is going to wake up to exit whistling something that on the contrary it is possible not to do if I am at home, finding myself more relaxed as an area “known”.
On the other hand, the latter has no “safe area”, neither surveillance nor outstanding parents. What’s more, residents warned to grandparents to the baby’s crying (something that may indicate that probably wasn’t the first time).
Other cases where the influence of social networks is clearly seen usually with famous mums and dads. Perhaps precisely this characteristic, the of being famous, which makes them more visible to the social networks than any of us. So, if a famous bottle sale giving her daughter, teta, or speaks in the way in which he or it homeschool, it will be an endless supporters who polled about correctness or not this. Perhaps it is difficult to separate the famous real person, from that parent who is faced with many of our difficulties in educating and raising our children, with the added plus that life happens to be one chapter of our television programming.
So then, we have different ways in which advertising and the world that sell us social networking affects, directly or indirectly, to our way of educating and raising our children. Sometimes it will be for good, for more information on what we can do and choose between different options and other times we will be against us, because at the end and at the end nobody is 100% the same person face-to-face who perhaps is that, behind the screen of your tablet or your computer, seeing the rest of parents such as accounts or profiles on facebook or instagram , which prevents that in many cases we are able to put ourselves in their place as we would to someone who us this counting its case at the entrance of the school, or during the rest of our work.